She then followed up with a strong message aimed at her audience online: “If that’s controversial, I don’t really care. Hit back harder. Thank you.”
Her approach, which clearly leans into a “no snitching” attitude, quickly took off on social media. The post received over 42,000 likes and sparked hundreds of comments. Some praised her, while others pushed back with criticism.
“Never throw the first punch — but finish it”
During a follow-up conversation with TODAY.com, Norris explained that she doesn’t support starting fights. But if someone else starts it, she believes it’s okay to finish it.
“I would rather be in the principal’s office because my child stood up for herself,” she explained. “Telling the teacher is good for long-term conflict management, but doesn’t go far toward immediate resolution.”
Her video, which mainly featured advice for her 5-year-old daughter, set off a huge wave of reactions. What seemed like a simple parenting rule quickly turned into a much bigger conversation across the country.
Online reactions: cheers and jeers
A number of people supported what Norris had to say, with one person commenting: “I was always told, ‘Never throw the first punch but you better finish it.'”
Someone else added “Bullies only bully the ones who allow it,”, while a third wrote: “Defending yourself is a skill you need in the real world and they don’t teach you that in school.”
Still, there were plenty of voices that didn’t agree. They leaned toward a more peaceful and non-violent way of handling things instead.
Although the original video was short, it opened up a broader conversation about parenting styles, discipline, and how early we start teaching kids to stand up for themselves—or resolve things calmly.
“This energy is gross. Hitting people isn’t OK,” another user replied, with someone else adding: “I’m teaching them to use their voice first, because doing the same thing back doesn’t make sense.”
Among the responses, one TikTok user who said they were an elementary school teacher shared this concern: “This is the mindset of nearly every parent and fighting is out of control. We won’t even know students are having problems with one another because they won’t tell us about it. They will just fight.”
Experts warn of real-world consequences
Dr. Deborah Gilboa, a family doctor and expert in resilience, spoke to TODAY.com and pointed out that this kind of debate really brings parenting values into the spotlight.
“The problem with telling people what they should or shouldn’t tell their kids about hitting back is that you are telling them what their values should be about violence, protection, safety, dignity and autonomy,” Gilboa explained.
She encourages starting with peaceful steps — saying “Don’t do that,”, walking away, or getting an adult involved — while also recognizing that not every parent takes the same approach. Some parents may intentionally choose to raise children who are ready to respond more forcefully when needed.
“That may be the warrior you want to raise,” she said, “but then you owe it to your kid to talk to them ahead of time about how they may get punished by that situation.”
What’s the takeaway?
Whether you agree with “hit back harder” or lean toward teaching your child to “talk it out,”, experts believe the real value lies in having open discussions. It’s less about giving rules and more about explaining the reasoning behind them and what those values mean.
As for Norris? She’s not backing down. “Stick up for yourself,” she told TODAY.com. If a fight happens, she’s not going to tell her daughter to go find a teacher — she’s expecting her to handle it herself.