That’s what happened to a 28-year-old guy who had been seeing Amanda for over a year.
Even though they hung out all the time, lived together, and shared a lot of intimate moments, Amanda kept saying they were “just friends” whenever he brought up being official.
One night, while out at a bar, he met Lisa — a fun and outgoing woman who was very open about her casual lifestyle.
Since he believed he wasn’t in an exclusive relationship, he brought Lisa home.
Things blew up when Amanda walked in and caught them together.
But even now, six months later, the scars from that night still linger.
Was he completely in the wrong for hooking up with Lisa, or was it a reaction to the mixed signals he was getting?
Dr. John Gottman, a well-known relationship expert, shared, “When partners do not share the same expectations, especially regarding exclusivity, it creates a breeding ground for resentment and hurt feelings.”
In this case, the lack of communication made everything messy and pushed one partner to look for attention elsewhere.
Experts also point out that if a relationship really matters, both people need to step up and talk about their expectations.
Even though hooking up with Lisa might have come from a place of hurt, it just highlights how important it is to have honest conversations about boundaries.
What happened here seems to be less about cheating in the usual sense and more about a total breakdown in communication and trust between two people.
Dr. Gottman also reminds us that choices made when emotions are running high often end up leaving lasting damage that’s hard to undo later.
“When a partner resorts to actions that test the limits of exclusivity, it often reflects deeper issues of insecurity and unmet needs within the relationship,” he explains.
It’s a good reminder that a real relationship is built on shared values and honest respect — something that definitely seemed missing in this situation.
Here’s what the community had to say:
When the story hit Reddit, the reactions were split but leaned toward supporting him.
A lot of people said that after being stuck in a “just friends” situation for a year, it made sense he would look elsewhere.
They pointed out that if Amanda had wanted something serious, she should have made that clear sooner.
On the flip side, others felt he crossed a line by bringing someone else into a shared home.
They argued that even if things weren’t official, more respect was still needed.
Overall, most agreed the real problem wasn’t the hookup itself — it was the total lack of clarity and communication in their relationship.
Some encouraged him with messages like, “You deserve someone who’s all in,” while others suggested he should have been upfront and had a serious talk instead of letting things get so messy.
